Luminous Vices Lair

Demons are still demons at the break of dawn.

The One With The Storm

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Would you care to dance with me tonight?

Goddess of Crossroads. We meet again.
Take my hand and let the torch lead the way.

She moved slowly through the sand and water.
The river bend right across the fields crashes against the rocks
Once a peaceful river, now a tumultuous stormy sea

Under the tempestuous sky you call out to the Ancient Ones
Dancing in a circle the elements you evoke pour out their power
The overloaded skies tremble, shout and yammer

Goddess of Thunder, as you hold your breath to contemplate the chaos.
Let the heavens crumble, you shout with the voices of a thousand souls.

Red, purple and blue beams of light tear the open air around us
It’s as if you are the heavy rain pouring on your own core
It’s as if your sheer will is keeping the candles from weeping
The eternal now is just a mere casualty, you’ve been here before

For the Ones of Old who still Are answer to your vivid call.
You are the one with the storm, the one with the rage
And with every cried out song of glory, you furiously dance far…
Far away from reach… You dance your mystery.

Goddess of Magic, allow me in your forever spinning weave of reality.
Let the ever expanding web of existence ripple.

As you move I’m mesmerized, deeply torn and eager.
Lurking around the cliffs of your paradise, I find myself
You are The Three Fold as Her cloak shrouds your whole.
And as you reach the pinnacle of the Priestess, I bask in your glory

Your eyes set on me hold the secret pathway; I’m lured.
Draw me in and make me part-take in your growing cone of power.
The piercing cold waves reach out to us in the primal pull of creation
Once I’m inside I know there’s no turning back.

Goddess of the Sea, blanket me in your depths where light never ventured.
The torment of the never ending waters soon turns into absorption.

There you are, once again, a living statue of wonder casting your spell at will
My thirst guides my body,  as the frenzy sets in… I give myself to the Sea.
In your salty lips, the sweetest of all nectar. Only you can feed my wandering spirit.
The eternal circle has brought us back together, and shall split us apart once more.

However, what is it really to part? If this moment will be forever.
Murk sets all around, as you send me into the dark waters. It takes me.
It seems like eternity, slowly going under… It fills me up. Away. Awake.
For as long as I am told, as long as time is old. I’m yours to hold.

Goddess of War, I inhale and bow to your power.
Lift the veil from my eyes, so I can pledge myself to you.

I can see what’s left of me. I’m aware of your desire.
A pile of broken dreams, cruel thoughts and the death of a wounded heart.
You touch me with a thousand eyes and I feel the draw of your sharp knife.
“Face me now at the draw of my sword or face down forevermore”, echoes.

A broken body, a broken will and a broken spirit, of a broken man.
“Forge yourself back up again, and if necessary once more.
This world is not for the weak, it is for the hunter, for the warrior.
Fight for yourself or perish before the shore.” Perish… Perish…

Goddess of the Battle Cry, it emanates from you…
It is you the one they call, and I am them too.

I’m taken in a state of despair, as time creeps away from me. Drowning.
What will I be without your voice? What will I be without your torch?
I plea, beg and eventually sunder. It is the time to face the storm.
I’m dazed, dazed away from non-existence, into the the ticking present.

My hands shiver from the cold. I’m only human under your sword.
With a quick clean cut, you tear me down. Destroy me. Set havoc into my soul.
I’m released. I no longer fear, nor will I ever drown again.
You set me free. You have, You do,  You will…

Goddess of Secret Names, you whisper to me.
And by your kindness and grace, my name you declaim.

I knee, merely a soldier. Here I make vows of loyalty to you.
A gift demands a gift, and I’ll honor you with my life.
The sounds you sing tell stories of Great Names of eras long forgotten.
Eternity in your lips, no Name is left unspoken, unhonored; campfire tales of glory.

I exhale as the mystic fills in my soul, I finally see your eyes
The mountains, and the depths and the oceans in you
The sharp cold sea, the dark clouds and your voice
Your words are orders, and they north my primeval lust.

Goddess of Crossroads, your torch will be my lead through the rain.
Here you’ll part from me, till the day we shall meet once again .

Gripped. I see your hair twirsl in the wind, as if coloring it with rushing blood.
Craving. I see every curve of your body under Her cloak, as it lifts.
Vanishing in the mist, leaving behind leaves of a Dragon Tree. Parting from me.

You took me in and gave me a Name. And then You left, as swift as You came.
I leave the security of your embrace, away from your grace.  Unbroken,  a newborn.
And it’s all because of You: The One With The Storm.

Inspired by and in honor to: Naelyan Wyvern, for unknowingly
being a safe lighthouse to my days of stormy raging seas and shifting tides.

For as long as I’m told, as long as time is old. I’m yours to hold.

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Wave Yearn

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Rapid lightning bolts strike in a flash. A wound bled freshly open above us.
A nebulous skyline unfolds in the, once before, mirror clear sky. Bellows echo.
Northern shipwrecks, flushed on to sand, breaks the silence as the waves crash against it.

Light up the candles. As I watch you in a distance.
Set the mood. Make me static just for you.
Open the circle. You dance around in ecstasy. Vibrating. Illuminating.
Call upon the magic and I’ll follow through. The storm is here.
We’re eternal in the great rite of passage.

Swords have been swung in the very ground we stand.
Blood from a thousand warriors spilled on the sand.
Swiftly shout your presence across the skies
Singing from below, where no human has ever gone.
Dressed in the waves, shrouded in the mystery you carry under your hair.
Surround us in the mist, so in your arms, we rest our souls,

You are the keeper of my desires, my heart races back to you. My pleasure is your own.
I will slowly kiss you. For the trust in your eyes, has flooded my soul.
Now slip your lips onto mine. Midnight strikes. And all the spirits you keep
Encircle me in an timeless era, where the greatness of all, was the greatness of you.
Put me in check, for I’ve forgotten my roots, for I ache for you.
Unbreakable, you dance your sex, so I can see once more what’s long lost.

The waves crash along the coastline.
Back and forth, it stimulates, simulates.
Shivers are sent up and down my naked spine.
Can you feel the wintry drift invite us home?
It’s far from electric when you embrace me in.
This is your universe. And it goes on and on.

I’m a soft touch.
Therefore mistake it not for innocence.
Innocence can rest not in the look,
For fire consumes my desire.
When my eyes are keen to lurk your body
Lock your lips violently around my bare neck
It tells a story
Feed on the burning synergy created from the sweet caress
Home is where your skin aches for the feeling
Cast the spell
Fill me up, Goddess!

Antagonize my beliefs, break me to pieces to build me up again
Seduce me with your gasping breath on my face, whispering the truth I do not know
Edify me to be what you see inside, what does your wisdom keep in store?
Turn me upside down to your every wish. You’ll be the first one and only.

And I will be a dedicated lover.
I will make love to the ocean.
When you rise the temple walls around us
The sea welcomes us into the blue
As I lay under the stars, you’re wave dressed.
I wear your body, and your skin presses over my sky-clad flesh

Master. You’re the ocean in Her glory when she’s raging on.
On your realm, I’m a peregrine, a foreigner, a stranger.
Rage, Madness and the Omen. A battle cry. The boundless ocean world awaits
Recklessly, invites me in, with smooth skin and untamed spirals of scarlet hair
In her fair skin and the chasm in her soulful eyes, we’re connected.
Gushes of blood are spilled in the battles at sea. She’s where a sword strikes, The Crow.
Age through ages, she’s the very core of the earth, what it means to grow.
Neither in the realms above, nor in those below, is there such a piercing force.

I’m seduced, as never before. The latent sacrality in the divine union, dragged out.
Ruling over our bodies, our shells, we commune with the sacred sexuality.
Inside ourselves and all around. You teach me how. You open my eyes.
We allow the flow to be all consuming, as you are when you’re Her.
The moon triumphs in the sky threefold.

We build up the power, the drive
We build up the cone of light
We build up the purpose and longing
And we send it to the divine. It’s the pinnacle of our sacred bond.
Eyes closed shut when we unite into becoming one. A bridge to the Ancient Ones.
We need not light to see, but opening our spirits we stream free into the realms below.
In the deep waters we dove, dive and will dive once more.
The smoky scent of the fumitories and foxgloves blossoming on the shore fill the air.
Bridging us together and apart. As we infinitely spin in the cosmic dance.
When you’re inside of me. We’re one. You’re the Goddess and you’re in charge.
Turning my fears into the sands washed away from the seaside.
The Ocean’s claws pierce into my back as we reach the point of perfect balance.
I’m allowed inside when stripped from my human constraints, I’m taken.

Here time slows down. Guidance into the darkness as we walk in shadows.
East to West to North to South. We thank the elements as they go, asking for blessings.
Chanting, saying goodbye. Fire, water, earth, air and spirit. Merry meet and merry part.
Absorbing the circle, the secret left undiscovered. The universe shared will linger on.
Torches light the way, as we follow the road… We resonate along in perfect trust.
Ending. Our roads will cross again, and until then I will always love you.

Inspired by and in honor to: Naelyan Wyvern.

Underlie

Fool

To start it off, he had a slim, snake-like body. Dead brown eyes. And a melancholic tan to his skin.
I should have lied and just left.
But I chose to taste his venom. Patiently waiting for death.
And to finish it off, he had all the worst intentions.
He pounded my ass with every inch of his dick. That was pleasure.
He never stopped when I asked. That was heaven.
And whenour bodies were connected, that’s when I felt the most disconnected from myself.

I died with every pulsating beat of his body against mine.
I was somewhat dead inside. Voided from any sentiment. Any emotion.
That’s just a cliche. But I was numbed anyways.
Emotionless; no hunger or thirst; no life; no pain; no thoughts or cares at all.
And from the disconnection I could find myself.

Lost…
Wandering…
A wanderer… In the arms of others…
– Humpf… I could barely say arms, that’s just too romantic.
I was a wanderer in the pleasures of others…
That’s more like it.

I didn’t feel anything anymore, and something that was a…
A…
A escape, something that was supposed to fill me up again, became a permanent state of numbness…

No pain.
No thoughts.
Nothing.
And eventually, nothing, I became.

Underlying to my own self.
Overpowering my ego.
Faster, pussycat…

Addiction

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Some vices…
They…
Turn out to become part of you…
Even… Even when…
Even when you have been in rehab for so long…

And these vices…
These vices…
They never truly die…

But you do.

With every creeping day…
Until you become your addiction…
And the madness wears its most violent mask…
Where you can’t remember anymore how it is to be your own self…

In the darkness…

Do you still remember?
You still remember the hours that went by so gently…
You still remember the promises…
You still remember all the songs…

Even with the most complete detachment of yourself…
Even when your life becomes your only possession…
Vices will always be merely just addictions…

Detoxification…
Intoxicated…
Detoxify…
Intoxication…
Cleanse yourself.

Good morning

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How do you get up in the morning?

How do you get you feet off the bed and look for your slippers?

How do you walk to bathroom and face yourself in the mirror when the hurt has been eating you alive?

How do you look the person in the reflection, who resembles nothing what you used to be, in the eye and tell yourself this is going to be a good day?

How do you just walk past the kitchen cabinet where the knifes are kept?

How do you open the windows of any room to let the sunshine in when all you want to do is lie down untill it all goes away?

How do you do it?

How can you do it?

Can I do it?

Can you do it?

Can you do it when every single cell of your very being aches in the sheer wonder of his name?

Do you still remember his face?

Do you still remember when he told you you’d be his forever?

Do you remember when you saw all the plans and dreams crumble to the ground?

If a tree falls in the forest and there’s nobody around to hear it, does it really make a sound?

Do you remeber how it is to feel and to fall?

Do you remeber the fall?

Why can’t you move?

Why can’t you just open your eyes when you wake up in the morning and it is still 7am?

Why do you wish so hard that you could sleep this pain away?

Do you think maybe the pills by your bed will make you feel better?

What do you feel?

What is going through your mind when you look up at your ceiling staring at the fan?

What is it you’re feeling when you just can’t let go and let live?

What is it your feeling now that your chest burns everytime you look at the watch and it’s just 5 minutes past the last time you looked at it?

Why is it the air becames so heavy at the mention of words that were yours, words said in the moments when you were so sure of the love?

Why is it you don’t know how to fix yourself anymore?

Why is it that distance hurts so bad and, even when you know it’s almost over, you simply can not wait any longer?

Why do the tigers in your mind can’t seem to be silent anymore?

Why do you lose yourself in the thoughts of a future that’s not yours anymore?

Why do you still shed tears of a love that no longer exists? Why is it? Why?

Why can’t you feel bad for the end of it all?

Have you ever loved him?

It was not enough. It was just not enough.

You heard the cracks…

It makes a sound if you were one of the squirrels living in the damn tree.

And then, it finally crashes…

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Take a long breath. Let the night air fill your lungs.

 

Dive deep.

 

Another ocean of fears awaits you. Nothing in this world can stop you tonight.

 

Leap. Let it go. The crashing waves will save you.

 

You’ve been hurt before, you’ve been lost and you’ve been wounded. Take the leap.

 

“Nothing ever felt like this” The echooes haunt you.

You were never this person. You’re a whole new being. Nothing could ever feel like this before.

 

You’re not the one standing in the way of control.

 

Going high and taking it low.

“Take it like a man.” They shout to you; they’re trying to shut your pain.

“Fuck off.” Tell them. The response never even makes it out. You try to shut your pain.

Suddenly, you catch a glimpse of the indigo night sky. All those diamonds so far away have been dead.

 

“Die, you stupid shit.”

 

The night breeze gives me the chills. But that doesn’t bother anymore. You’re diving.

 

The oceans will protect you. The waves will wash away the pain. Take confort in the underwater fortress you’re surrounding yourself in. That’s your peace. That’s your heaven. No one’s inside.

 

Take that peace and breath it in.

 

Breath it in…

 

Your head is far away from you. It flies free. It flees.

 

Fly now, my pain… Flee away from me.

 

Vulnerable

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Vulnerable under the stars.

I heard mermaids cry in a distance.

Sweet gentle desperate cries embraced me in my deep slumber.

 

Vulnerable under the stars I was yours to keep.

I could live like this forever.

You made me whole and you broke me down.

 

Vulnerable under the stars I was yours to keep, but I was too broken.

I dreamt away the feel of you touching my skin.

The missing kiss was never mine.

 

Vulnerable under the stars I was your to keep, but I was too broken and you did not see it.

I suffered quietly while you turned your face away from me.

I can’t let go from this admirable fantasy.

 

Vulnerable under the stars I was yours to keep, but I was too broken and you did not see it when I lied naked on green lawn.

My whispers of love, set flight in the wild wind of that summer night.

Under the pale moon light, my body bled desire for you.

 

Vulnerable under the stars I was yours to keep, but I was too broken and you did not see it when I lied naked on the green lawn yarning for your lips.

Eager and warm, all my soul I gave to your sorrow.

Pretend all the hurt was nothing and bring me back to life again.

 

Vulnerable under the stars I was yours to keep, but I was too broken and you did not see it when I lied naked on the green lawn yarning for your lips I caught a glimpse of other eyes.

Broken down, I watched the break of a new day, a new dawn that slowly took you away and stole the love I was too hurt to feel.

I lied there under the stars.

 

Vulnerable under the stars I was yours to keep, but I was too broken and you did not see it when I lied naked on the green lawn yarning for your lips I caught a glimpse of other eyes that desperately cried words of deceit.

I opened up my eyes under the stars, until the stars were no more.

 

So I stood up hidden on the shadows casted by the liquid golden light of the sun.

Hidden away.

Broken.

I never let it show that under the stars my love bled open for a heart that was never mine to keep.